Thoughts of a sleepless diva Part II

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Being a woman was never easy and it is not just going to become any easier as time goes by. Being a woman is hard and even harder to admit it without being blamed for playing the martyr card…another cliché I despise. Problem is that, for all of us, there is a point in life when we start realizing that we are in fact women and not little girls anymore, regardless of how childish we want to behave in front of the world and how much we like chocolate (some of us really like chocolate!). For some, that moment happens when they have their first sexual experience…for some it happens when they become wives while for others it happens when they become mothers. For the rest of us, however, those who didn’t need such circumstances or a child to realize that we are women and not girls, the switch can be a little confusing…and a hell of a challenge!

Sure, we can take care of our own needs and we start to do some domestic chores trying to make life as pleasant as possible and all these things come as we grow up and we are required to fulfill them but they don’t make us women, do they? They might make us responsible individuals but that’s about it. One of the most obvious things that change in us when we enter “womenville” is that we develop different needs, needs that we cannot take care of on our own (or at least we shouldn’t). We experience emotional voids that we need to fill, to feel happy, loved, needed and wanted. Sure, some of us are open to spirituality and I can tell you from my own experience, that divine needs are not the same as emotional human ones based purely on hormones. Yes, we can meditate and I even think meditation is an essential part of life and mental health (try it for one hour each day and you will understand why it is so essential), as well as opening our consciousness and maintaining a good flow of energy within our chakras. A woman nowadays needs to be spiritually open in order to understand what’s going on with herself, and then with the rest of the world (in that order), in a dimension that pursues questionable values. But emotional needs can’t be fulfilled by spirituality, however, they can be controlled by it and that does the trick for most of us…it keeps us balanced or at least calm about it. When a girl becomes a woman, their needs change and, also their values. And even if some might say that when a true woman wants something she should go and get it, well, that is working and not at the same time. We can go and get what we want physically, we can buy what we need to live comfortably, we can get a new device or even a new house, depends on our financial possibilities but in perspective, we can get all that if we put our mind on it. But we can’t go and get attention, care, love or desire. That is there or not and if it is there, a man would let us know is there and he will provide it for us…yes, a man is a provider, not a financial one but one that keeps a woman emotionally balanced which is so much more important than some bills. One that can make you feel wanted when you need without you asking for it, one that can make you forget about your worries and remind you of how much you are worth, without you going to ask him to do so. These kind of things come from within, from the heart and if they don’t come…they simply don’t and that hurts especially when we expect them to come. Do we do the same, you may ask…yes. We do the same but we also want it to be done to us. We like to be chased, loved above everything else, supported emotionally so we can be the woman that everyone wants us to be, that we need to be in order to succeed in life. And a true man provides that confidence in us.

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A woman is able to live alone, take care of her life and even her children…and she is able to take care of all her material needs as well (or she should!), time passed and we don’t need men to do all that for us. But we do need them to BE THERE. And every time we look in the mirror we need to feel wanted, desired, needed and loved by someone. Can we live without that? Sure we can. Can we be happy without it? Sure we can. But it is a different kind of happiness, and as self-sufficient as some of us might be, we don’t want that kind of happiness for a lifetime. We want the shared kind, the one in which there is a man in our lives that makes us feel worth it, special. Because we don’t ask for anything else and making a woman feel like she is good enough, doesn’t cost a thing.

 

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